A friend of ours competed in the Sparke Helmore triathlon yesterday, and she did so in memory of Salome. She completed the course, so she swam 500 m, ran 4km, and biked 15 km. I am in awe of this and always have been in awe of anyone who does triathlon / marathon stuff. I am incredibly touched that our friend dedicated her huge achievement to Salome. I don't understand why it means so much to me that our friend did this, but it does.
We went to an annual family event on the weekend, in a town I have visited many times a year for most of our life. Strange to be somewhere so familiar and to feel utterly lost. I saw people there I only see once a year, who are mostly friends of my brother's and his partner. Several people sought me out to tell me how sad they were to hear about Salome's death, and I was really touched to know that people from so far away have been thinking about Matt and I, praying for us and crying for us. It was good to see A and M have people supporting them with the loss of their neice. I received so much kindness on the weekend, and I received it passively because I'm really tired, I'm muddleheaded, I find chat impossible and I am living in a bubble. Now I am also a bit sick.
I found this blog's greatest fan over the weekend. One of my aunts has become an avid reader, and she even flicks bits of posts on to other people so she then has someone to debrief with after she reads it. She told me she has ditched Home and Away in favour of my blog, and that if she comes home from work and there is no new post she is very disappointed. I haven't laughed so hard for 7 weeks! Her son even apologies to me for not reading the blog, because he finds it a bit depressing! Hillarious! Just for the record, I am absolutley not insulted if you don't read this blog for a while or don't read it ever. It might sound silly, but I want to assure you all that there is nothing disloyal in taking a break from hearing/reading/thinking about Salome's death for a while. Please don't think that would upset me. What is going on here is our house is hard slog, and if we there was any way we could have a break from it I can assure you we would! If I was in your position, I probably wouldn't read this blog very often because I have a 'trauma sponge' streak to me that needs to be managed. I really feel that when we here in this house start to "recover" (?) and start to inch our way back in to everyday life, that will be absolutely fine by Salome. I am sure that gorgeous little baby would not want me to feel like I am not grieving her properly or not grieving her enough, and she would want us to reconnect with all the life-giving things around us. So I am telling you all too that we feel very loved and supported, and it's totally OK if you don't want to read this blog. All I'd ask is that if you have been reading this blog and then I talk to you and I start to tell you about something you have already read here, just tell me that you've already read about it so I know not to repeat myself by telling you. Am I the only blogger to worry about that?
No comments:
Post a Comment